Sober March

Red lipstick? No, too dark… Pink? Too bright… Douce fumée de Canelle , this one is perfect!

WTF. Who comes up with lipstick names? I bet it’s a bunch of teens on the weeds.

Anyways.

I was getting ready to meet up with a friend, when I get his text message:

-Sure, I don’t mind meeting you at the bar, but I must let you know: I won’t drink alcohol! You can have some, of course… just not for me! 🙂 

… URGH fucking great. A fucking alcoholic.

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Open letter from your ungrateful child

I’m often told you’re really lucky to have the mum you have. To which I (always) replied Yeah, yeah, I know… I hadn’t realized before it wasn’t said just to be nice: they truly meant it. You rob the hearts of everyone you meet. Of course I have always loved you, mama… but as I’m watching the machines beeping next to you, my heart is sinking. If I could take all your pain away and put it on me instead, I would do it in a heartbeat… we all would. You are our home. You are our north star.

You just woke up to ask me if I had eaten. It’s unbelievable that no matter how you’re feeling, you still find a way to forget yourself and think about us.

We take too many things for granted; especially mothers. We forget to smell the roses, we just Instagram them. We urge to record memories on moments we didn’t even truly enjoy, because we were busy publishing them. We write big paragraphs of mother’s love on social media, while mum is cooking dinner by herself, again. It’s all so…. fake.

I wanted to tell you how much you have inspired me to be a better person and all those Hallmark things you’re supposed to say on mother’s day, but I can’t help thinking about more… so, from the bottom of my heart;

Mum,
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Advice from the blossoming and parting souls

I just finished writing my last love notes for all my loved ones. I hugged my dog for as long as I could. I called my mom to tell her I loved her. Oh, dear mother! How will I tell you? I am trembling, I can’t breathe and I’m sweating. This is it: I might not make it. Thoughts are racing through my mind… all those dreams and goals I have not yet accomplished… I had such a short life…. but if I must go, I will go with pride and love. Tears are going down my cheeks.-Why? I don’t know. My time has come. I must face the music now.

-Liliana? Please come with me, the doctor has your results now.
Be brave. I whisper to myself. Ask him to be direct and to tell you the truth without sugar coating it. You need to know, so you can prepare yourself. 
-Hi Liliana! You have a mild seasonal flu. Get some over the counter cough syrup and you’re on bed rest for two days. You’ll feel better tomorrow. Have a nice day!

Oh.

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